When the wrong time is the right time

Lots of people are feeling the pinch of the recession at the moment.  Fewer jobs, high prices, having to think more carefully about what we spend our money on.  It would be fairly logical to think, therefore, that it's not a good time to make changes at the moment.  Sit tight and wait for things to get better....
From an economic perspective, I think better things are going to be a long time coming, so are we prepared to sit and wait for someone else to take action?  I'm not advocating a revolution - well, not at the moment anyway - but we can often tell ourselves that difficult times are not the right time to think about change in our lives.
When times are difficult, we can sometimes sit nursing our wounds until the immediate pain passes, but what about using the negative feelings of things not being as we want them to be, and turning them into positive energy, which we can then use to give us focus and make things better, even if it's only in small steps to start with?
An obvious example might be where you want to change job, but there aren't many around.  You could just sit at your desk everyday getting more and more frustrated with doing 'the wrong thing'.  Alternatively, you could spend time finding out what work you would really like to do - perhaps do a training course in it, to give you a taste of what your new work might be like.  If money is an issue, spend time on free e-learning and research - there's lots of free information around if you have a look.
A good starting place is the 'What Colour is your Parachute' workbook.  It's good because it starts by helping you to identify your best skills.  This will raise your awareness of them and encourage you to feel good about them.  The likely outcome is that you'll use those skills even more in your current work, simply because you are thinking about them more, making your present job more satisfying while you're planning your escape!  You can also use your current work situation to refine your best skills even further, to make them even better for your new venture when it emerges. 
If you don't want to get the book, just write down a list of 10 things you do really well, either in your current job, your home life, or anywhere and have a think about how you will use those skills in your new work, however different that work might appear to be on the surface.
All coaches and NLP practitioners will tell you that we get what we think about, so while you're noticing the great skills you already have, which you are improving even further for your new work venture, life will seem more positive, and that new opportunity could present itself even quicker than you're expecting, just by virtue of the fact that you are focussing positively on what you are planning to do in the future (and are actually doing a bit of now).
I think it was Anthony Robbins (apologies if it was someone else!) who said that if you write 10 goals down, put the piece of paper in a drawer and don't look at it again for years, you'll find, when you do finally look at it again, that you have achieved about 8 of them.  He probably said it more elegantly than that, but you get the idea - it's your intention that counts, and once the intention is there, the energy flows along that path.
Have a think about what you can do today to bring the future a bit closer.

Limiting beliefs and what they do for us

Sometimes it can be easier to think we can't do things.  If we believe, for example, that we're just not confident enough to introduce ourselves to that new person in the office who seems really interesting, or that we just can't stand up in front of an audience to make a presentation, it can be quite handy.  If we don't try to challenge ourselves, we can carry on doing the things we find easy to do, and stay safely within our comfort zone.  Which is fine as long as you're happy doing that.  Truly happy, I mean.  Not just resigned to doing the same old things, day in, day out, and having a good moan about it.

In coaching, when people look at what they think is a limiting belief, we have to have a think about what holding that belief is doing for them, as well as what it's costing them.

A while ago I held the belief that I couldn't run my own business.  'I'm just not a business woman' I told myself.  There came a point where I had to look at that belief properly to see what was going on.  I found out that what was really happening was that other things were a greater priority at that time which needed my energy and attention.  Holding that particular limiting belief allowed me to delay the decision to start my business.  It was the right decision at the time, but I wasn't brave enough back then to say it. However, because I found out what was behind the belief, when the right time came to start up the business, I was no longer held back by some dodgy belief which wasn't based on anything factual at all.

Try challenging a belief today, just a little one, like 'my teenage daughter is going to be really difficult when I get home'.  Try holding the opposite belief just for a while.  Imagine yourself noticing the nice things she does, even if it's only one or two. What does it mean to hold a different belief?  What would it be like?  What would it allow to happen?  Just try it out, and I guarantee you'll notice different things going on.  Your brain will be primed to look out for different information.  You might not immediately completely swap an old belief for the opposite, but at least you've made a small movement in the right direction, and proved to yourself that a different choice is possible.  Just give it a try.

I have to quote Henry Ford, even though I'm sure you've heard it before: 'whether you believe you can or you can't, you're right'.  How true.

Work, children and shoes

I sent some of my friends an e-mail yesterday forwarded from Schuh about their new season shoes.  I couldn't think of anything better to send them on a Monday morning, with the first of the spring weather. Work doesn't compete with shoes on a Monday morning.

I also listened to two psychologists on radio 4 today, while I was driving home from the school run, telling me how to bring up my children (actually, it was almost sensible, for once) and it got me thinking about the constant juggle of family - the tennis matches, netball, swimming, sleepovers, massive pile of PE kit thrown in front of the washing machine, blocking the cat flap with imminent consequences - and wanting to have a professional life...and more shoes.

I saw a friend at the weekend who had also invested in some new shoes for summer.  She was very keen to explain what they meant.  They weren't necessarily practical, but the pleasure they give her, and how they make her feel about herself when she wears them is much more important than that.  Shoes are a mirror of our soul (!) - and I'm going to add them to my list of NLP non-verbal communication...
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So why am I telling you all this?  Because these are some of the most important things in my life (there are a few others too, thankfully) and I'm just a typical woman, living a life similar to many others, and I'm still making my introductions in blog world.

I love the ideas of self-fulfilment and self-determination behind coaching and NLP, and I'm constantly striving to achieve that for myself and my family and everyone I work with, but sometimes the juggling goes a bit haywire, until I reset and get back on track by using my NLP and re-focussing (and unblocking the cat flap).

Spring is a good time to re-think things - we've stopped hibernating in our winter inertia, making excuses about why we can't change anything, and now the sunshine is bringing us out of our shells.  I'm happy to work with anyone who is ready to make a change or review where they are in life, but if you're a woman with a life like mine, I think we'd work really well together.  Especially if you want to come and admire my new shoes.