Choice

The idea of  'choice' can be a bit contentious in some areas of life.  We can spend a lot of time thinking we don't have choices about certain things we do.  If we let it, it can lead to a feeling of not being in control, of having decisions taken out of our hands.  It's all in the language:  we say 'I must clean the house'; I must get that information together'; 'I have to go and see my Mum'; 'I need to lose weight/earn more money/go out more/be more exciting' etc, etc, etc.

Really noticing the things you say to yourself, in your head, just for a few hours is very revealing.  How often do you give yourself a hard time with 'musts, need tos and have tos', filling your life with them so there's hardly any time left for the 'want tos'?

When you hear yourself saying those things, challenge them.  Next time you say 'I must clean the toilet/go to Sainsburys/lose 6 pounds/be more efficient at work.....say  'what would happen if I didn't? ...or even... 'if I don't do this, what's the worst that could happen?'....If you're still struggling with the gremlin in your head who likes 'musting' and 'shoulding', ask yourself whose voice it has?  Is it your own voice or someone else's?  If it's an imposter's voice, make it quiet and fade it away, like turning down the volume on a radio.  Replace it with your own clear, assertive voice, saying 'I can choose to do this if it is important to me at this time', or something similar, in your own words.  Then mentally check whether it's really a priority or not.

Sometimes you really do want to do the things you tell yourself you must do, and that's ok, because then you can say 'I want to clean the toilet/go Sainsburys/phone Great Aunt Edith', and your feelings will let you know if you truly mean it.  That allows choice back in and lets you feel in control again. 

Choice creates possibility, breeds opportunity and lets us express our true identity again.  That way, we have a really good chance of living in peace with ourselves with more energy, enthusiasm and vitality.  Hurray for choice!  The good choices you make for yourself benefit everyone in the end.